


Mutual

by autisticaizawashouta



Series: Gender is Hard 'verse [14]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Disabled Character, Gen, Mention of an anxiety attack, Past Abuse, Queer Themes, Some description of anxiety, mentions of a past abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 11:11:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14283654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autisticaizawashouta/pseuds/autisticaizawashouta
Summary: Mutual love and respect is what any good relationship should be built on. It's what Virgil and Patton's relationship is built on.Meanwhile, Virgil comforts Logan when Logan turns to them for... something, they're honestly not sure what exactly Logan was aiming to get out of that conversation.





	Mutual

**Author's Note:**

> If this is your first time checking out the Gender is Hard 'verse, you may want to go back and read the previous installments so that this one makes sense. Or maybe you don't. I dunno, I can't tell you what to do.  
> Quick pronoun rundown: Virgil, they/them; Patton, he/him; Logan, xe/xir; Roman, they/them; October, fae/faer; Remy, they/them  
> I may have missed some warnings in the tags because i'm tired. Let me know if there's anything else I need to tag.

Patton had returned to work, so Virgil was home alone with just Caoimhe for company. That was fine by them; they could take time and just relax in the calm. Maybe get some writing done, maybe take a nap, they didn't know. Remy and October had been texting incessantly all weekend, and so they were texting those two as well.

It was early in the afternoon when Logan texted them.

_Nerd Logic, 13:46_

_You will probably be surprised by this but I'm skipping class._

Virgil raised an eyebrow. Logan? Skipping class? Xe really didn't seem like the type.

_Me, 13:46_

_Why are you doing that?_

They typed a couple more sentences of their story while waiting for xir to reply.

_Nerd Logic, 13:47_

_It's... a protest. Of a teacher. A couple teachers, actually. Might become more teachers._

Virgil took a couple moments to think of their reply.

_Me, 13:47_

_And why are you texting me? Not that I'm against you texting me or whatever._

Logan's reply came a couple minutes later.

_Nerd Logic, 13:49_

_I am anxious about this, and given that you seem like the type to protest or at least skip school for some other reason I was figuring you might be able to give me some advice._

Virgil snorted.

_Me, 13:50_

_Skipped school, yes. Protested, not so much. I didn't in high school and my anxiety's too much to now. And I just didn't give a damn in high school and I doubt telling you to stop giving a damn will work._

Logan's reply came almost instantly.

_Nerd Logic, 13:50_

_You are correct, it would not._

Virgil nodded. Yeah, they figured.

_Me, 13:51_

_It's good that you're standing up, making yourselves heard. I'm not sure I've gotten the backstory?_

Logan took a couple minutes to reply. Virgil took that time to check their email.

_Nerd Logic, 13:55_

_Well it happened on Friday, you know, the day you finally messaged us about being hospitalized. I got fed up with the English teacher being a jerk about "debates", having "debates" about LGBTQ identities or police violence or mental illness while people affected by those are in the classroom and listening to their classmates be bigots. Well, long story short, I am not the only one fed up._

They leaned back onto the arm of the couch and took a few moments to let it sink in.

_Me, 13:56_

_Go you, sticking it to the man. Are your parents on board?_

_Nerd Logic, 13:56_

_They are both teachers and they are both completely on board. There are a few teachers at our school, too: the drama/English teacher, my Chemistry teacher, a couple of the History teachers, the band and choir teachers._

_Me, 13:56_

_History teachers are generally pretty cool in my experience. So are band and choir teachers too tbh_

Logan was quiet for a bit before texting again.

_Nerd Logic, 14:01_

_So how is your recovery progressing? Reasonably, I hope?_

_Me, 14:01_

_Yeah fairly reasonably. There's an aspect of it I'm gonna tell you and Roman at the same time, only have to explain it once, you know how it goes_

Whoops, they were probably worrying xir now.

_Nerd Logic, 14:02_

_I understand. Have I told you about my new friends Renee and Hollyn yet?_

_Me, 14:02_

_Not much. I've mostly been hearing about Calisto lol_

_Nerd Logic, 14:03_

_Yes, Roman has been more insufferable than usual lately_

_Me, 14:03_

_Pfft you put up with them._

_Nerd Logic, 14:03_

_Begrudgingly. Renee and Hollyn walked out of class with me on Friday. And then we went to McDonald's and had french fries. It was an interesting bonding experience._

_Me, 14:04_

_Most bonding experiences are interesting, in my experience._

_Nerd Logic, 14:04_

_Do you have any examples to share?_

_Me, 14:04_

_Patton's a huge fan of spontaneous outings. And I'm, well, not. But when we were first living together I wasn't as good at boundaries and stuff so I let him drag me out and then I had a panic attack and cried all over him and it was a mess but also a learning experience and for a while after that he was the only one who could approach me during an attack without making it worse. So, yeah, bonding experiences = interesting._

Virgil's stomach did flips while waiting for Logan to reply. Had they said something to scare xir off? Logic said most probably not, but anxiety said that they most definitely had.

"Just be patient," they muttered, taking deep breaths.

_Nerd Logic, 14:05_

_That is interesting. If I may ask, what do you mean by "wasn't good at boundaries"?_

Logic won, that time.

_Me, 14:05_

_That was just after I had gotten out of the relationship. And, well, neither my ex nor the people he hung with were good at respecting my boundaries. I don't think he did it out of maliciousness, but his friends? Well, another story entirely._

_Nerd Logic, 14:06_

_Oh. I'm sorry you went through that._

_Me, 14:06_

_Not your fault tho the sentiment is appreciated._

_Nerd Logic, 14:06_

_Anyways, thank you for talking to me. I feel less stressed now._

_Me, 14:06_

_Glad I could help. Do you want me to have Patton message you when he gets home from work?_

_Nerd Logic, 14:07_

_That would be appreciated._

Virgil sent one last text, an affirmative, and set their phone of the table. They also set their laptop aside, standing up and stretching their arms over their head, feeling their back crack. Caoimhe perked up, her tail wagging.

"Yeah," they said, drawing out the word. "It is time for The Walk. Damn Emile for making me do this, huh?"

Caoimhe looked at them, almost like she was saying 'this is good for you and you know it'. She jumped off the couch and trotted over. They vested her up and attached her leash and exited the apartment.

It was overcast outside, and people were out and about. They couldn't hear the activity and the hustle and bustle as well as they may have used to be able to, but Caoimhe was alert and watching out. They slipped into the flow of people moving and walking, heading towards their favorite coffee shop, a little place which, for some unascertainable reason, was called _The Coffee Hat_. They were going to meet up with October and Remy there, since the other two had some time off from work and classes.

October was already there when Virgil and Caoimhe walked in, faer long red hair pulled back in a fishtail braid. Fae was sitting at the group's usual spot in the back, near the back exit.

Faer face lit up when they caught sight of Virgil.

"Wow," fae said. "It's one thing to know that you're okay because you're texting me, but another thing to see that you're okay in person. Could I- are you- would you be-"

"A hug?" Virgil asked, smirking. "Is that what you're trying to ask?"

October blushed and muttered something. Virgil raised an eyebrow.

"My eagle hearing isn't quite what it used to be so you're going to have to stop muttering," they said, and fae looked up at them.

"Wait, what?" fae asked.

Virgil shrugged. "The meningitis kinda fucked with my hearing so, I can still generally understand what people are saying, but until I get some damn hearing aids you're gonna need to speak up a little."

"Oh, okay," October replied. "No problem. Have you ordered yet?"

"Have I left your presence since I walked into the coffee shop?" Virgil replied. "And you still haven't gotten your hug, you know."

October moved closer, and they hugged.

"Now you can go get your coffee," October said. Virgil chuckled and moved towards the counter. They noticed that October couldn't really keep faer eyes off them, whether it was worry or relief or whatever. Virgil didn't mind. Faer gaze was, for lack of a better word, familiar.

True to form, Remy showed up fifteen minutes late. They took a minute to order their coffee and then walked over to Virgil and October's table. They were wearing a leather jacket, white shirt, and knee-length red skirt.

"V!" they exclaimed, striding over, their boots loud on the floor. "It's so good to see you! Oh my gosh, you're not dead!"

"Very observant," October replied.

"Yeah, this one has no problem speaking up. I actually think they're incapable of speaking down, so," Virgil said. Remy's brow furrowed.

"Speaking up? I'm confused," they said.

"Long story short, the meningitis left me hard of hearing so until I get hearing aids please speak clearly and don't mutter," Virgil replied. "Something you'll have no problem with."

"Oh my gosh, gurl," Remy said, covering their mouth with their hand. "I am so sorry, oh my gosh, this is my fault."

Virgil squinted at them. "What? Is this, are you saying this is your fault because your dorm had the meningitis outbreak and we shared a drink and so you're thinking you gave it to me? Because, uh, I hate to tell you this, but there's no way for you to know for sure."

Remy sighed. "Well, it's probably a pretty good guess..."

"No," Virgil said, cutting them off. "No, it's not your fault. If there's anyone who's at fault, it's that damn anti-vaxxer who didn't have her kids vaccinated and brought it back from vacation."

"I guess," Remy said.

"Seriously, it's not your fault," October added. "Stop beating yourself up."

Virgil stood up. "Hey, do you need a hug?"

"When did you get this tactile?" October asked while Virgil pulled Remy into their arms.

"Patton solves everything with hugs and cuddles," Virgil replied, shrugging as they and Remy pulled apart. "I suppose I've gotten used to it."

Remy shook their head and laughed. "The two of you are, like, absolute goals, you know that?"

"I guess," Virgil shrugged. "This isn't the first time you've said that."

"Because it's true!" Remy replied. The barista at the counter called their name, and they walked off.

"They're not wrong," October said. "From the outside, you and Patton look like you have the perfect relationship, and before you say anything, yes I know you're not romantically involved. But you gotta admit, you kinda look it."

Virgil sighed. "I'm tired of people automatically jumping to that assumption."

"I know," October replied. "I hope I'll be able to find someone, someday, that I'll be as close to as you and Patton are to each other."

"I hope you do, too," Virgil said. Remy was walking back over, their complicated drink in hand.

"So!" Remy said, sitting down on the other side of October from Virgil. "How's life?"

"Life is life," October replied, shrugging.

"I almost died, so there's that," Virgil added, nonchalant. "A couple of my online friends are fighting the oppressive American high school system."

"They're sticking it to the man, I see," Remy said, nodding sagely and taking a sip of their coffee.

The three people talked together for another half an hour, until Remy had to leave so they could try to make it to their last class of the day on time. They probably wouldn't succeed.

"Well," October said, standing up. "It was good seeing you."

"Yeah, same," Virgil replied. "I mean, it was good to see you too."

"Are you trying to infiltrate my generation?" October asked, faer facial expression telling Virgil that fae wasn't being serious.

"Excuse you, I am your generation," Virgil replied.

"I believe you're technically somewhere in the grey area," October corrected. Virgil shrugged.

"Generations are fake anyway."

October nodded. "Yeah, I guess that's true. Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow for the writing group meeting?"

"Definitely," Virgil replied. They hugged and left the coffee shop. It was a little after three in the afternoon, which meant that Patton's class would be released soon. He wouldn't be home until after four, though, due to things like grading homework and tidying up the classroom.

Virgil and Caoimhe arrived back at the apartment as the clouds that had been gathering all day started raining. They took off their boots and changed from their jeans into their green sweatpants (which happened to be a gift from Esme, who generally thought they could use more color in their wardrobe).

They sat down on the couch, and Caoimhe hopped up beside them. More than usual, their hair was falling in their face.

"Maybe I should get a damn haircut," they muttered as they tucked their fringe behind their ear again. "Or, I guess I could grow it out. I don't know."

Caoimhe tilted her head up at them.

They snorted. "I could always ask Roman's opinion." They shifted on the couch and pulled their laptop onto their lap. It was time to write some more.

Outside it was a full-on downpour by the time Patton got home. He walked in and hung his coat up.

"Some weather we're having, huh?" he said while Virgil adjusted their position on the couch.

"Yeah, it's just a little nasty," they replied. "How were the kids?"

"They were good!" he said, kicking his shoes off and walking into the living room. "A little antsy because of the weather. How was your day?"

"It was good," Virgil replied. "I had coffee with October and Remy. Apparently one of Remy's cousins has been making trouble at school."

Patton laughed. "There must just be something in the air then!"

"Oh, that reminds me," Virgil said. "You should message Logan. Today was the first day of xir protest and xe was pretty anxious earlier."

"Okay, will do!" Patton replied. He walked over to the living room, and Virgil moved their legs so he could sit.

They sat in the living room together, accompanied by the rain hitting the windows and Virgil's music. Caoimhe fell asleep between them, her head on Patton's lap and her tail in Virgil's.

It grew closer to time to begin making dinner, and Virgil touched Patton's shoulder to get his attention.

"Yeah?" Patton asked, looking at Virgil.

"Don't worry about dinner tonight, I've got it," they said, setting their laptop down on the coffee table and adjusting Caoimhe so they could stand up.

"Are you sure?" Patton asked, worry sketching itself into his features.

Virgil sighed. "Yes, I'm sure."

"I'm just worried," Patton replied. "I don't want you overexerting yourself so soon after being sick."

"Contrary to what recent events might have you believing, I do actually know my own limits," they said, walking towards the kitchen. Caoimhe watched them, her ears perked up.

Patton wrung his hands for a moment, probably trying to choose the right words. "I'm not saying you don't. You have a pattern of behavior that indicates that, while you do know your limits, you tend to ignore them."

Virgil paused, one cabinet halfway open.

"Okay, yeah, I'll give you that," they replied. "But I promise that I'm not pushing my limits today. Honestly."

Patton frowned. "Well, okay, but I just want to make sure that you're taking care of yourself while you're recovering."

"I am," Virgil replied, trying their hardest not to sigh. "Trust me on that?"

"Well, yeah," Patton replied. "Of course!" He looked like he was about to say something else, but then thought better of it. Honestly, they suspected that he wasn't being completely truthful, but they didn't feel like it was the right time to point it out.

"Then let me cook dinner. I'm sure that people asking about your absence was exhausting," they said, and Patton chuckled.

"Yeah, they were pretty pushy about it," he replied.

"Ugh, pushy people," Virgil said, fake-shuddering while they worked methodically through getting out everything they would need to cook dinner. "My worst fear."

Patton laughed again, and slowly, the atmosphere between them relaxed. Virgil cooked dinner while Patton recounted various interactions he had throughout the day.

While they were eating dinner, Patton brought the topic back up again.

"I just want to make sure that you know that I do trust that you know what your limits are. I'm just, I just worry a lot because- well, I just worry."

Virgil took their time to think over what they were going to say in response to that.

"I get the worrying part," they said, twisting their fingers together. "It just... It gets frustrating, sometimes, on my end, being asked multiple times if I'm sure I'm not just overexerting myself or something."

"I'll try to be better about not asking multiple times. I suppose a lot of it is... I just can't seem to stop remembering how you were the first few months we knew each other," Patton replied.

Virgil took a steadying breath. "I wish I could forget, too," they said. "I just... I dunno. I... appreciate you, a lot, and I don't want to downplay how much it means to me that you do care and you show that in good ways, but... I don't know. I don't know where I was going with that thought, honestly." They shook their head.

"I appreciate you too," Patton replied, smiling at them. They smiled back, feeling their body relax a bit. "Hey, you know what, I feel like we should get out the fancy glasses tonight." Virgil snorted. "What? We may not have any wine to put in them, but we do have grape Gatorade and that's almost the same thing, right?"

Virgil chuckled. "Well, if you're asking my opinion," they said, "grape Gatorade is leagues ahead of wine in the drink rankings."

**Author's Note:**

> Ahaha don't you just love it when you feel the depressive episode creeping up on you? so i figured i'd just post this tonight so i don't feel bad for continually putting it off (even though i only finished this part today lol)  
> so if i drop off the radar for a bit that's what's going on. i'll still keep replying to comments though, that's one of my favorite parts of the day.  
> also i can't help it with the gatorade in wineglasses lol i just can't  
> If you enjoyed it, please leave a kudos, and if you feel like it, leave me a comment and let me know what you thought!  
> with love,  
> Kestrel  
> (ps there's also an ask blog @gender-is-hard-asks so if you want to ask something idk go ahead)  
> (or you can just bug me on my main, @anarchx-kestrel)


End file.
